It seems most people who are opposed to trying new foods cling to a childhood detest. While willing to hold their hand in flavor-adventures, I am more concerned with those who say “I’ll try anything once”. These people should realize the huge range of flavors, textures, smells, and other qualities that can exist within a single type of food. Onions for example can range wildly in sugar or sulfur content. Hummus can vary in texture and tartness, amongst other things.
What I’m getting at is that it takes a lot for me not to like something; I’ll try anything twice, at least, and usually more—probably until the day I die. I have to. I have to, because one instance of food does not represent the entire class which it represents.
So it shocked me when I found something that made me gag. Seriously. I almost threw up upon smelling it. I never almost throw up. Maybe it was the fact that the cheese I had bought itself smelled like vomit. I dragged it under the noses of semi-willing though hesitant friends, and I now consider them even truer friends for subjecting themselves to such cruelty for the satiation my disbelieving olfactory organs.
The cheese—a rich, creamy, AOC French variety called Morbier—stinks like puke. Like absolute vomit. It’s made with the extra Gruyère curd, from both the evening and morning. At night, they cover it with a layer of organic ashes. In the morning, a new batch of curd is spread on top—creating a black line through the middle of the cheese. The whole process is fascinating…really…and the cheese is extremely rich and luxurious but it is so hard to get past the puke–smell.
So here, I leave you. Know that I will try other Morbiers in my life. But for once, I will hesitate, until I find one that doesn’t make me wretch like a 2 AM fratboy on the corner of Oakland and Locust.