wax ideal
learning to be human, since 1984
A Letter to Myself – or – How to Get Carmex Out of Your Eye, Idiot
0Dear Me,
It’s been about a week since I got sick, as you’re well aware. One of the worst sinus infections I’ve ever had has also imbued me with an unexpected and very much unpleasant “treat”.
That is to say, something happened to me that I never could have anticipated. Prepare yourself for a tale of musicial mucous and chapping skin!
After blowing my nose constantly for 2 days, my flesh started to get dry and irritated. Naturally. For the following 4 days, I had been applying carmex regularly, to keep my nose and upper-moustache region that-oh-so-supple tenderness that it is used to.
Well. Somewhere in there, a hidden smidgen got on my eyelashes. At first I couldn’t figure out why they kept sticking together every time I blinked – afterall, I hadn’t realized it even had it on my finger.
After some detective work in front of the mirror and feeling the wet, almost waxy texture around my eye, I had a Eureka! moment (which was rather fitting, considering I had just watched a documentary on Archimedes). Ahem.
I proceeded to wash my eye with soap and warmish water, and hit the hay. Four hours later I woke up – gasping for air, as my throat and nasal passages had both filled entirely with a thick, disgusting mucous whose color you certainly don’t want me to describe – only to find my eyes were sealed shut with the gluey residue that clearly hadn’t washed off.
In my delirious awakened state, I wiped my lashes off with a towel. Minor success – back to bed. I awoke again, 4 hours later to a similar situation and finally fixed the problem.
- Run the hot water, as hot as you can ******* stand.
- Make gobs and gobs of lather with some bar-soap.
- Rub the suds in really ******* hard.
- Rinse with hot water.
- Repeat at least 3 times.
- Breathe a sigh of relief.
This, mind you, is after scouring the internet for a solution. Maybe my search query was trash. Maybe I couldn’t read with my eyes fused shut. I really don’t care. It’s done. Hopefully this will never happen to you again. If it does, you’re a total muppet, but at least you know what to do. Common sense isn’t so common after all, especially when you’re in a weird mental state.
Write back soon.
Love,
Your Jackass-self
301 Redirects in Drupal Pages
0I recently ran into a problem with a Drupal site I designed and maintain. Here’s a quick explanation of the problem, and then the solution.
The front page has a Views Slideshow Block that grabs node data from custom CCK types. These types contain an image to be displayed in the slideshow (but not the node itself) and a checkbox for enabling or disabling the node from appearing in the Slideshow Block. The slideshow images by default link to the nodes from which they were created.
The problem is linking to a page rendered by Views. Since I can’t add a field for the image or checkbox in a view page (not that I know of, let me know if I’m wrong on this) I had to figure out a different way. And I did, but not without further glitches.
I added the image and checkbox fields to my Page content type and created a node with the appropriate image. It appeared in the slideshow and linked to the page. I then tried several methods to redirect the alias to the correct page. First, the Path Redirect Module. Fail. Then, cpanel’s .htaccess redirect configuration tool. Fail. Then manual .htaccess configuration. Fail.
I don’t really know why the .htaccess failed – I have suspicions it has to do simply with Apache not updating, the fact that I have the Global Redirect Module installed, the clean url directives that already exist in the .htaccess file, or some similar url rewriting conflict.
In a pinch, I added this snippet of code to the body of the page I created:
<?php
header("HTTP/1.1 301 Moved Permanently");
header("Location: http://www.mysite.com/aliasname");
exit();
?>
This delicious morsel did the trick, but not without a headache first. You’ll have to have access to posting PHP code, and post it as source, even if you select the PHP option.
Quick Printing Trick for Barrel Folded Tri-Fold Mailers
0I recently designed and printed a two-sided barrel-folded mailer for an upcoming fundraiser. I ran into an issue that I had to resolve quickly, as I was printing the job on a client’s printer, from their computer, using limited software (read: MS Word).
I know, blasphemy – but we needed a quick fix and I got the job done.
Problem
Barrel-folded mailers generally require the two outer end-panels to be printed 180° to the angle of the main body copy. The top panel is where the return & mailing address go (the first flap you open), and other is inside the flap (the second flap you open). Thus, some text needed to be upside-down.
Solution
After fumbling through Word (I cringe as I capitalize it) I decided against flipping the text in the program, opting instead to flip the paper and slide the text to the bottom of the page. This achieved the desired result in much less time than searching through help or online. While this technique isn’t revolutionary, it is a good reminder to think beyond software and into the actual material you are printing on. A simple flip or fold could lead to a creative solution for a complex problem.
Photos of Last Year’s Harvest
0676 days
Last summer my girlfriend and I organized and planted a community garden. We planted close to 50 different varieties of vegetables, greens, herbs, and flowers. Here are just a few photos of the harvest. I’ll be posting videos & more photos soon!
Using Windows 7 Symlinks
2681 days
I ran into a problem with integrating my web development/design projects on my computer with my local webserver. To further explain:
- I keep all my professional work, including client files, on a separate hard drive partition so that I can easily and regularly back them up, let’s call it g:\
- Client files for web projects are organized as such: g:\clients\client-name\project-name , so that if a long-term client wants a site redesign, I can easily keep these separate rather than dumping them into a single public_html directory for each client
- My local testing server is pointed at a different partition, let’s call it h:\
- I want to be able to serve individual projects via the testing server, but only work on the project files
Naturally, I thought of unix aliases but I’m currently running Windows 7 so I tried shortcuts. Didn’t work. After a little digging, I found the solution: symlinks (which work in numerous OSes – thanks for the correction). From the command line, type:
mklink /D H:\target\directory\linkname G:\clients\client-name\project-name
mklink /D creates a symlink, or a soft link that is the Windows equivalent to unix aliases. The first argument is the directory where you want the link to be placed, and the second is the source directory. Easy as pie.
Be careful when deleting/writing content – the linked directory allows you to manipulate the original file!
Fixing PHPList Delete/Merge Attributes Function
2692 days
I recently installed PHPList v2.10.10 (the latest stable release) to manage an email campaign and ran into a slight problem. PHPList allows users to define their own form fields for lists – name, address, birthday, email, and so on. These fields are referred to as “attributes”. Almost any type of data can be configured by adding an attribute in PHPList. You then create a sign-up page and choose which attributes you want users to enter, and whether or not that attribute is required to complete list sign-up.
I started setting up my attributes and naturally, added one by accident. After finding a button deceivingly named “delete”, I clicked it to correct my error. An http request was sent and the page reloaded – but my attribute was still there, winking at me like an old man who – while sitting on his porch – witnessed your ice cream tumbling off its cone after the first lick.
Luckily, a quick search found a remedy so I pass it along to you, the ethereal inter-web user:
http://forums.phplist.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=24502#p67476
Take that, old man.
10 Tips for HTML Email Lists, Templates, and Campaigns
0695 days
Developing a good-looking email campaign should be easy, right? You’d be amazed at how backwards the process is. This post assumes you have the technical and creative chops to hosting the email service yourself, rather than choosing a paid service like constant contact or mailchimp. Where’s the fun in that?!
From choosing the right host to archaic css support, here are some tips to help you remedy the malaise of maligned markup and hosting services:
- Start with a plan. You need to know five things:
- how many people you plan on reaching
- how frequently you will be emailing them
- what features you would like (html vs plaintext, images, etc.)
- the duration of your campaign
- your budget
- Find email list software that does everything you need it to do and is easy to use. Generally, they have demo sites where you can test out their features. Some even integrate with popular CMSes, like Drupal, WordPress, and Joomla. Try several of them out until you find something that you like and that is either offered by your host, or that can easily be installed. Choosing software with good documentation and a large, nerdy user base is typically a good bet.
- If you are planning on sending a lot of emails, find a host that allows it. Hosts typically set a throttling rate to govern the number of emails that can be sent per hour and per day. Defaults on these figures are usually low, but can often be raised after contacting customer support. Do some research beforehand and you’ll be okay.
- Make sure the email list software you are using – as well as your host – aren’t blacklisted by major mail servers like gmail, yahoo, etc. Similarly, make sure your host’s filtering/spam settings are either disabled or allow for large quantities of outgoing mail with your keywords.
- Keep the design simple. Most mail clients and online email service providers allow for minimal use of css and html. They vary drastically in their support (you can find more info here: http://www.email-standards.org/ ), but here are some quick pointers:
- Use tables for optimum control over content alignment. Some email clients don’t render floating elements properly and certainly don’t degrade elegantly. You can avoid tabular layouts altogether if you keep your design simple with a single column of text.
- Avoid the default line length; in other words, your text shouldn’t run as wide as the window. There are two reasons for this:
- It is harder to read
- It won’t grab the reader’s attention to begin with – it looks like most junk they get in their inboxes. Even if they do start reading it, make it easier by limiting the width of a text block to 35-55 characters, either by setting a css width on your containing element, or by using deprecated methods like setting the width attribute in a table.
- Use inline css on each element that you want to configure
- Counter-intuitively, don’t depend on the “cascade” in body css – in other words, if you want all of your text to be styled with font-family: verdana, you might need to place that on each element
- Related to the previous point, avoid using css in the body element; some mail engines strip all html that is outside of body, including body.
- Avoid images as CSS backgrounds – instead, use image elements and get creative; a well designed image can create a fake page-corners, fades, and other common html graphics techniques. (a great example is the Organizing for America Campaign)
- Design for your audience. If you don’t know who that is, do some research. There’s nothing wrong with designing as broadly as possible – but with clear guides. If you know people who have difficulty reading small text will be receiving your email, ensure the text is large enough and with sufficient contrast. Don’t make it gaudily large, around 12-16px in many common webfonts generally does the trick. Images can’t be read by screen readers without alt attributes, so always include them. Title attributes are helpful as well, for mouseovers.
- Make sure the email has a clear goal and that it is easy to achieve; use image and text links to guide the reader to an actionable task. Generally, these links should point to a landing page on your site from which you can collect referral information.
- Make sure your content is engaging. From the images to the copy, everything should be designed to appeal to the reader’s senses and sensibilities. Knowing your audience is crucial for this step, so do some research if you haven’t already.
- Test, test, test. If you don’t have accounts on the major email services, sign up for them. I would advise keeping track of these usernames/passwords in a safe place (http://keepass.info), for future testing purposes. Avoid filling out personal information other than what is required by law. While I don’t condone creating false aliases, I also don’t condone data-mining, as commonly practiced by google/gmail. Tread carefully and wisely. Also, download and/or purchase major email clients (thunderbird, outlook, eudora, etc.), configure them with the appropriate server settings, and test there too.
- Finally: know the law. The European Union and a few states require opt-in/out clauses and privacy policies to be provided at the time of sign-up and linked in every transmission. Unless you’re living in China, North Korea, or other places where access to information is limited (among other things), the internet is boundless – you can’t plan on never getting a hit from the EU, California, Minnesota, Nevada, or other places where laws exist to protect privacy over the web. While it’s unlikely that problems will arise, they can be avoided altogether by including these things. The best way to protect yourself is to know the law and plan for future problems. I’m by no means a lawyer, but I have taken a course in internet/information law. If you’re uncertain, you should probably set up a consultation meeting with a bar-certified professional specializing in this area. A great online resource is http://www.epic.org You can sign-up for their feeds to stay on top of current electronic privacy legislation, cases, and so on.
There are certainly more techniques and considerations, but these should help get you started if you’re uncertain or new to managing and designing email lists. While I strongly condone pushing browser standards forward, the state of email rendering is even less homogeneous – and emails translate into business and money. While it’s great to support and use standards, the burden of implementing standards compliant emails shouldn’t be on the client. Designers & developers need better support from corporations. Full stop, end of transmission.