I grabbed my biggest wooden spoon—mind you, it is in fact quite large—and proceeded to mash and bash the cabbage until it exuded more water. After 5-10 minutes, I stopped and replaced the bag. A nice brine now slightly covers the cabbage and things should go slightly faster. I’ll update in a few days!

Oh, and the smell is divine. Nice and pungent and cabbagey. Not gross, but definitely not sterile. I. Love. Food.

Ingredients:

• 2 small/medium heads of lettuce, outer leaves removed, about 2 pounds each. Washed, drained, and halved. I used green, but both red and green is ideal. Oh, and get organic if possible, as pesticides kill the natural bacteria that are necessary for the fermentation process.
• salt; I used Kosher, but pickling is supposedly ideal because of its grain size. Rock salt apparently works too. Also, avoid iodized salt as it will kill bacteria!

Equipment:

• large, clean food-grade container. I used a large ceramic crockpot, though a bucket or crock would work. The sides should be as straight as possible.
• a good (sharp) knife and cutting board
• a plastic bag capable of holding water without leaking. I used a garbage bag, and washed the outside before using it, in case of residues.
• water
• a 50-60°F area; cool, dark, and handsome. Okay, the handsome part is ridiculous. Yet I won’t delete it.

Instructions:

1. Cut out the core. I had never tried it before, and was extremely pleased to find that it had a similar peppery heat to mustard greens.
2. With the flat face down on the cutting board, cut each half into quarter-inch strips. You can go smaller or larger; smaller should decrease the time it takes for the fermentation to occur, while larger should take longer. Makes sense.
3. Layer the cut cabbage into the vessel with salt. For every two pounds of cabbage, use 1 tablespoon of salt. For the record, 1 tablespoon equals 3 teaspoons. Mix everything together with your hands. You did wash them first, right? Press the cabbage down with your hands. Some people even bash it, to bruise the cabbage and get it to start releasing liquid sooner. You don’t have to do this, as the salt will draw the moisture out—but you could try it especially for red cabbage, which is harder. Point is, compact it as much as you can so it is not at the top of the vessel.
4. Partially fill the plastic bag with water. The bag is going into the vessel, on top of the cabbage to both:
   1. press out more water
   2. keep air and other debris out, which allows fermentation rather than rotting
   3. to allow the resulting CO2 an escape (through the tiny gaps around the perimeter, between the bag and the vessel).
5. Once the bag is in the vessel, add more water till it sufficiently is weighing the cabbage down. What is sufficient? I’d say at least a gallon or three of water, depending on how much cabbage you’re using. I’ve got about 2 gallons in my bag. Tie the bag up!
6. Let the pre-kraut sit in a cool area, out of direct sunlight, and away from critters.
7. Lift the bag, checking periodically. I’m going to give mine a taste after a week. It may only take a week. Two seems to be the ideal, but it’s all up to your palate. It may even take up to five weeks, so use your senses.
8. If something stinks or seems otherwise awry, it probably is. Ditch the kraut and call the doctor if you’ve eaten it and feel…off. As always, I take no responsibility for your kitchen creations, so don’t blame me!
9. If everything seems good, eat! Decide if it needs more time, or if it has gone past its prime. When it tastes good to you, you can jar and refrigerate it, or even bag and freeze it for later.

I’ll post further developments as they occur! Peace.

• update 1

Resources:

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItUPwdlViCY
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItDXpNyOmhA
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeBlvOa62W8
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAByu1Lb8GM

What more could one ask for? Well fancy you should ask. I buy my beans dry rather than canned—either in bulk or pre-measured packs—and I do this for several good reasons.

• Weight. I bike. To work. To friends’ houses. To the grocery store. Canned beans are packed in that weird goo, not to mention…a can. Both of these things are HEAVY. Bagged beans are dehydrated, so I get more for the weight. After soaking, reconstituting, and cooking, beans nearly triple in mass. Amazing.
• Cost. This is somewhat related to reason one. A bag of beans and can of beans weighing roughly the same also cost roughly the same where I shop. In fact, usually exactly the same. Even in bulk they’re close. The dried will yield about 2½ more in mass than the canned. Et, voilà. Pound for pound, beans are some of the cheapest natural protein in the world.
• Storage. I keep them bagged or in a sealed container. They take up less space than a can and generally last longer. Were I to stockpile dried, I could use them in whatever quantity I wanted. Try that with a can.
• Processing. I like knowing how my food is prepared and I like buying it with the least amount of processing possible. This is how beans should get to my mouth:
  • Grow beans
  • Harvest beans
  • Dehydrate beans
  • Package beans
  • Transport

  That’s my sort of bean. None of that aforementioned goo. That the fuck is that shit anyway? Were I to grow them, I could eliminate the last three steps—maybe someday, but I’m not quite there yet.

Hopefully I’ve convinced you to at least give beans a chance. You might be tempted to give peas a chance too, but beans would give that legume a lashing of a lifetime. No offense, Mr. Lennon. I’ll post some bean recipes soon. If you’ve got a recipe or ideas to share, email me. If enough are submitted, I’ll try to post something in a similar vein.

Inactive prep time: as long as your water takes to boil
Other prep time: 5-15 minutes
Cooking time: 4-5 minutes

serves: generally, 2-4 medium servings per pound of broccoli

Needed are 3 ingredients, bare minimum. They are:

• Broccoli florets, trimmed with just enough stalk to keep the bunches together. Flip the broc on its head and simply cut off the branches. Wear flannel if you’re feeling extra outdoorsy. Get fresh broccoli when available, though frozen will suffice when not in season.
• Water
• Salt

You’ll also need:

• A pot, large enough that your broc doesn’t go past 1/3 or so of the way up. Dump it in if you need to check, but take it out again and keep in a bag or bowl.
• A colander large enough for each batch of your broccoli
• Another pot, bowl, or vessel large enough to contain the colander and the water from each batch of broccoli
• A puréeing apparatus, such as a blender, food processor, immersion blender (hand blender), or good ol’ fashioned masher and muscle. I must warn you: if you use the last method, you won’t have to take steroids to join the major leagues. That’s the last sports reference on this blog. I promise.

Notice, no quantities. That’s because cooking (and its more demanding cousin, baking) is more about proportions than quantity. There is no reason to limit a recipe this simple – but sometimes . So, here’s a rough-and-tumble version of what’s going on, followed by a far more detailed version.

Simply:

1. Season water with salt and bring to a boil
2. Toss in broccoli, lightly salt again, and cook 4 or so minutes
3. Drain broccoli in a colander, saving the broth in a bowl
4. Add broccoli to your puréeing device. Fill half with the broccoli water
5. Purée till super smooth, and to desired thickness
6. For some richness, serve with a pad of butter, a splash of crème fraîche or smetana, a dollop of sour cream, goat cheese, or splash of heavy cream. Or don’t add anything at all – it’s beautiful and clean with no fat added. My favorite way is served cold with a splash of extra virgin olive oil and a squeeze of fresh lemon. So good.

The Devil is in the details. May I present you with Mister Morningstar himself:

Fill the pot about 3/4 to the top with water. Too much broccoli in not enough water will take longer to cook through, so leave enough room for your broccoli. If you need to cook in several smaller batches, so be it, or use 2 pots of water.

So, this:

not this:

Liberally season the water with salt, cover, and set on high to boil. Liberally. Don’t be a baby. Give ‘er about 2…3…4…tablespoons? Honestly, I just use my cupped hand. Unless you’re baking you don’t need exact quantities. That being said, its best to add less – you can taste and adjust later. Don’t forget, if you are in fact using more than one pot, season each batch of water. If you do multiple batches, I’d suggest using saving the stock and filling the pot with fresh water for each batch. We’ll be using the stock later. It’ll take longer, but you can finish the first half of the soup while the water boils.

Otherwise, if you chose to use the same water, it will be twice as flavorful – which isn’t entirely necessary. This also means it will already have salt, so if any, don’t over-salt the second batch
Once boiling, add the broccoli, add a little salt on top, cover, and cook 4 or so minutes. If it’s frozen, give it a tad extra time, but not much. Use a dull knife, like a butter knife, to check if its done. Simply pinch the broccoli between the knife and the side of the pot. If the knife goes through with ease, you’re done – otherwise, give it a bit more time. Put a colander in an another pot, or a large enough bowl. Once cooked, drain the broccoli into the colander, saving the water in the containing vessel. We’ll use this momentarily.

Quickly fill your puréeing device with cooked broccoli, then fill halfway with the saved broccoli water (which is full of great flavor – who needs chicken stock?!). The heat of the broccoli and water allow for a smoother finish to the soup, so work quickly (but clean and safe). If you’re doing another batch, get the water in the pot and start boiling that sucker. Meanwhile, purée your little green friends till you no longer can tell them by name. You did name them, didn’t you? It should be smooth, deep green, and beautiful. Seriously. You should want to marry it. Now have a taste and season accordingly – you’ll probably need a little salt.

Now just finish up the rest of your batches and serve! Hot or cold, this soup is so delicious and fresh. It’s simple but classy and easily made more elegant. Add an aforementioned accoutrement et voilà! Without the additions, this dish is vegan; with, vegetarian. Yet another reason not to use chicken stock, which only confuses the broccoli flavor.

Nota Bene:

You’ll have left over water. I pour this into ice cube trays and freeze. About 5-6 cubes make one fluid cup. You can check your own trays simply by measuring out some water and seeing how much of your tray gets filled. Once frozen, I empty and clean the trays and store the cubes in a dated ziplock freezer bag. I also do this for chicken and vegetable stocks too, but any will do really. This way if you want to make a quick pot of rice with a bit more flavor, you can add a few cubes rather than water, or mix various stocks together without having to thaw several large containers. Properly stored, it should keep several months at least, but avoid storing where it will pick up other flavors.

• salt, both table and kosher/sea salt
• pepper; whole peppercorns; black, white, green
• extra virgin olive oil; keep the bottle in a dark, cool place.
• onions; white, yellow, red/purple, and so on; keep in a cool dry place
• garlic – I always have 2 heads on hand, minimum
• pasta; I usually get a bulk bag of spaghetti and a couple boxes of penne/rigati/farfalle, etc. I’ll eventually phase out the spaghetti with weekly, fresh-made linguine/tagliatelle.
• rice; white, jasmine, brown, basmati; experiment – I like jasmine because of its flavor which is subtle but can be played up with the right mates
• flour; non-bleached, white and whole wheat. If you’re into cake or pasta, get cake or semolina flour respectively. Make sure to store these in airtight containers.
• potatoes; baking, boiling, etc. I just get general purpose baking potatoes unless I need something that will stay firmer or for whatever I’m doing. Keep in a cool place
• corn meal, white and yellow; also known as grits or polenta. Get the slow cooking kind, fast cook is a ripoff and doesn’t go much faster anyhow.
• ground wheat (semolina; farina, cream of wheat, etc.); comes in different milling grades. It’s generally the left over bits from flour production.
• whole, rolled oats. Simple enough.
• lentils and beans, tinned or dried; kidney, chickpeas, navy, black, pinto, etc.
• vinegar; white, apple cider, balsamic, red wine, etc. I get the largest white vinegar and divide for household purposes, such as glass cleaner.
• frying oil; canola, peanut, sesame; store near your olive oil
• sugar; I keep granulated, confectioners (powdered), and brown, though cane is wonderful too. I’m phasing this out though in favor of more natural sweeteners such as…
• honey. honey. honey; papa brings me a one-kilo tin from Greece every year. So. Damn. Good. It beats the pants off of that fucking bear. It is wonderfully thick, completely unadulterated. Not even water is added, like a lot of honey States-side. Sure all honey is technically organic, but they don’t always tell you how much water is added, nor is it required by law.
• tea; bagged, or fresh if you use it quick enough and store properly
• pure (real) vanilla extract; fresh beans/seeds are better, as they are fresh and more versatile. Store them in the pantry too (for a year at least, but easily more), in a container that lets some air in. If your pantry isn’t dark, well, it should be.
• dried fruit; raisins, apricots, figs, etc.
• some nuts; nuts with higher fat content or ones not preserved with salt or some other agent will go rancid somewhat quickly. I store these in the fridge. (Thanks Heidi!)

There are a few ideas that should make stocking your pantry a bit easier and your food a bit better. Here they are:

• Buy whole spices whenever you can. Use a mortar and pestle, grater, coffee grinder (get one especially for spices), or put them in a plastic bag and bash with a heavy skillet or rolling pin. Hell, even a baseball bat will do. The idea here is to get fresh spices when you need them rather than ground. Because the oils are being released only when you need them, you get far better flavor and they last longer. And don’t be scared! Use any (safe, creative) method to get the spices into the form that you need them – explore with textures too.
• If you’re storing flour/rice/sugar/etc in a plastic container, put a piece of tape on the front to label it – both what it is and when you purchased it. Gaffer’s tape works nicely as you can write on the surface, it doesn’t leave sticky residue, and can be replaced easily when you get more. Also, try to use up the old stuff before adding the new.
• If there’s a special running at your supermarket, stock up on key things like tinned tomatoes and paste, dried or tinned beans, and the like. Its best to get the product as whole as possible. In other words, whole peeled tomatoes rather than diced tomatoes. They’re already processed so the less the better. Also, the less sodium, the better.
• Organize your stuff in a way that makes sense for the space you’ve got. Higher use items should go at eye- or counter-level. Stuff that could be had by bugs or vermin should be hung or shelved where they aren’t at risk, stored in appropriate containers.
• Keep a list of what you’ve got and how much. This one’s up for debate, as I don’t do it, but will someday. One list per cabinet/drawer/etc. should do the trick and keep things simple. Laminated lists makes updating a load easier – just use a dry erase marker, or whatever works. As I mentioned, I don’t keep lists. There’s not much to keep track of when feeding one or two people. If I were my mother (or a chef), I’d run a tighter ship.

In the days to come, I’ll post a generic pantry list form that can be printed. I’ll also post a list of how long each item can be stored. I might even combine the lists so that its easier to keep track of how old those cans of artichoke hearts really are (1986 is my guess). I know this stuff exists, but I’ve yet to find anything that’s well formatted, concise, and flexible.

Please feel free to comment: things I’ve forgotten, or things you like.