Someone upstairs has been stomping around between sneezing bouts.

Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!! [stomp stomp stomp] Achoo! Achoo! [frustrated gasp for air] Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! [stomp stomp].

I think it’s finally over—she’s succumbed! Perhaps the vapors from the large number of chiles drying in my kitchen are wafting up through both our open windows and into her nose? I can see it now: a stream of tiny red particles yippie-ing in glee through my screen window. Up the side of brown brick they climb till they reach the also–open screen window above mine, where they rocket up either nostril and on to her olfactory sensors. An electrical impulse travels to her brain. An irritant! Sneeze to destroy all invaders! Achoo! Achoo! Like microscopic airborn red ants, they fly out of her nose, coated in mucus, but are immediately replaced by an onslaught of their restless brethren. She’s won the battle…for now.

Back in reality, it’s just allergies. Can you tell I OD’d on Magic School bus as a kid? Perhaps I’ll move the peppers closer to the window and see what happens…